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Command & Conquer 3: Kane’s Wrath

December 17th, 2009

I was recently convinced to try out C&C3:KW (what a long fucking title) by a friend of mine.

Those of you who enjoy RTS games may be familiar with Emperor, which was the predecessor, technically, of all the 3d games in the C&C line. This particular episode strikes me as the most like that old, yet amazing, game, only lacking certain features and generally not advancing the game in any meaningful way.

New features (to me anyway) of note: The ability to take over husks left by certain fallen units. Also the whole unit integration with a supertank called MARV. Very cool.

Yeah, really that’s kind of it. They also lifted the shift click command queue from Supreme Commander, but it’s not there by default.

Old garbage: Special unit abilities that you have activate in a very fiddly manner. Not quite as bad as Starcraft, but still irritating. You still can’t queue up structure build orders, only units, for reasons that I’m sure would boggle the mind if anyone asked the developers. As far as I can tell there’s no way to group units together on the march, unlike SupCom, so you’re left with a bunch of weak units running off into the fight all on their lonesome.You’d also think that in the tiberium infused future we wouldn’t need ten powerplants to run six buildings.

I don’t recall if this was true in other C&C games, but you can’t repair units for a teammate either.

New garbage: There doesn’t seem to be a way to give units or resources to teammates, unlike Emperor, which is retarded. If you lose all of your harvesters that’s it, you just have to hope you can sell of enough stuff to build a new one. In Emperor, at least, you would always get one free harvester.

This is another good one. In RTS games repair units come in two flavors: those that run up to whatever you just ordered everything to attack, and those that don’t move at all when you issue the order. If anyone gives this more than a second of thought, it should be pretty apparent that what you’d like to have happen is for the repair unit to stay with the main clump of your units. The same thing frequently happens with anti-air units.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lot of fun, it just isn’t exactly new.

Edit:

So, what I thought was shift click mode is actually a way point mode. Similar though. Overall the various command options are, what’s the word, non-smooth? Wait, no, unrefined bullshit.

Gratuitous Space Battles Review

November 17th, 2009

Allow me to start this review by saying Go Buy This Right Now. Or at least grab the demo.

The gist is you design ships from components and then unleash them in various challenge scenarios. That’s it. Actual combat is automated, with only your designs and the general orders you give your ships before deploying as input.

The developer, who has a great blog, seems to actually like games, which is something you start to wonder about in larger developers. For instance, thinking like this has lead to a fun game, whereas whatever passes for thought at Rockstar made GTA IV into an irritating cell phone and relationship simulation.

Anyway. Try it, because also unlike major studios there’s a demo.

I present to you the bus of madness

November 3rd, 2009
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Zombieland Review

November 2nd, 2009

Went and saw this on Halloween. In short, it’s a fun movie with some solid performances, good makeup, and is worth seeing if you don’t have any reading to catch up on or other movies that grab your attention.

The Good:

Some of it was quite funny. The “zombies” had good makeup. Bill Murray shows up for a bit.

The Bad:

We’re subjected to some really pointless love interest bits, pointless back story for Harrelson’s character, a total lack of curiosity on the part of everyone, and generally the characters doing things that make you sit back and wonder how they got by before the apocalypse.

The Hideously Stupid:

Voice over? Really? When did this story seem so complex that we needed a fucking narrator a la The Wonder Years? At one point, in this voice over, we get an explanation for the zombies, begging the question “How the fuck do you know that?”, since the narrator is obviously not any older than he is in the film, unlike The Wonder Years, and it’s not like there was anything around to tell him what happened.

General Bits and Bobs:

There was no reason to have the beginning be asynchronous like it was. It added nothing to the story and would have probably worked a touch better just laid out point A to point B style. For that matter, it would have been a lot more interesting to see the main character actually working through the initial days of the outbreak. Instead we end up with something feels like ten minutes of youtube videos spliced into 60 minutes of marginal value and possibly another ten minutes of story relevant comedy. It felt really forced, like it was made by committee.

I can’t help but wonder what it’s like to be the guy they turn to when they want a low rent Michael Cera.

Casba Mediterranean Cafe Review

September 28th, 2009

Today I ended up eating at this place.

Having trundled about on public transit and foot with only a very small breakfast I was quite hungry, so imagine my surprise when the kefta I ordered was only tolerable, despite the extra spice of hunger.

Perhaps the place has gone downhill since then. Maybe cosmic rays were blocking my taste buds. I can only give my honest impressions.

The kefta itself, which I ordered in a wrap, was super dry and bland. The veggies were good enough, but everything was slathered with some sort of ho-hum sauce. Possibly sour cream that a tahini jar once bumped into. Even if it had been great there was just far too much of it. The pita it was wrapped in wasn’t stale, but it seemed a near thing.

Really the whole impression was “here’s some crap that’s been sitting here drying out all day”, which is odd considering it took a fairly long time for the food to get to me.

While the place seems fairly resistant to zombie attacks, what with so few patrons and only a small frontage, you’ll probably end up killing yourself for want of something good to eat.

Base Zombie Safety Index: 7

Adjusted for suicidal yearning: 3

Review of Mainspring by Jay Lake

July 27th, 2009

So, uh, yeah. Know that bit about not saying anything if you can’t say something nice? Yeah, that’d lead to dead silence here.

This book was excruciatingly boring, pointless, and various kinds of not good. Very Neal Stephenson, and if you think that should be a compliment, then by all means pick this book up.

Review of Make Room! Make Room! by Harry Harrison

July 23rd, 2009

So, this is the book Soylent Green was based on. Based on in the same way that another Heston classic, The Omega Man, was based on I Am Legend.

Allow me to adjust your set for reading this book. There is Soylent, but no Soylent Green, and nothing is distressingly made out of people. Soylent is the closest thing to affordable protein available, and it’s still far too expensive for most people. It’s comprised of soybean product and lentils. The mainstay food are weedcrackers, which are made of seaweed. Also mentioned are ener-G, which are granules of plankton, and meat flakes, comprised of snail or slug bits, issued to the very ill.

No, the thrust of this book is the living hell we’ll create with unchecked population growth. In this New York City has about 35 million inhabitants, the vast majority of which are beyond impoverished.

I really have to point out how amusing, and interesting, it is that someone as pro-life as Heston was in that movie. Of course, it leads me to wonder at how much impact he, or someone else in production with similar morals, deflected the message of the movie from birth control to outrage at defiling the dead.

Anyway. The plot, characters, and setting, are all carried out so very well. Sometimes you feel the author himself shy away from the future he can envision with such clarity, but it really only serves to get your own wheels turning.

All that said, you really have to prepare yourself for a soul crushing ride. You are left feeling that happiness, in any form, is at best a setup to more cruelty, and that you have been pre-fucked by every generation before you, while failing to summon the strength or resources to unfuck the future even a little.

Like anything I’ve suggested by Peter Watts, read this one when you think your feeling too good about yourself and the world.

Evolution isn’t like that people!

July 22nd, 2009

Ok. So, there’s this TED talk about artificial brains.

First off, whenever you hear something is 10 years away, it usually stays 10 years away for a very long time. I’m not saying it can’t be done, because it really should be less than 10 years away, but that’s not what I’m hear to talk about.

Oh no. No. There’s this nugget in there that stopped me cold.

“It’s a new brain,” he explained. “The mammals needed it because they had to cope with parenthood, social interactions complex cognitive functions.

“It was so successful an evolution from mouse to man it expanded about a thousand fold in terms of the numbers of units to produce this almost frightening organ.”

I swear they don’t teach people anything. I am thankful, and spiteful, every day for my general love of reading and thinking. Check this out. Do you really think that something evolves because a species needed it? Really? Stab yourself in the eye. There might be follow up questions, so you might want to take a time out to do research.

Evolution has no goals. Strictly speaking evolution doesn’t exist, just like you can’t say (though many do) that time exists. They’re both logical constructions that we use as intellectual tools. Both are frameworks to hang observations on so we can correlate this shit in a half-orderly manner and look for possible causal relations.

Evolution is easy. You have a number of critters. They breed, and over time have a variety of different traits. If a trait inhibits mating it dies out pretty rapidly, along with any other unique traits those individual may have had. Duh. If a trait increases the chance of mating then it succeeds and is, obviously, passed on. If a great big stress comes along, like a large shift in what makes up the air, then you see a large paring down of the gene pool to just those individuals with traits that allow them to breed in spite of the stressed environment. Obviously the second phase of “success” is that the new generation is able to live long enough to breed.

All those complex behaviors, and ability to think new things, came about because of the increased processing ability, not the other way around.

The second statement seems dubious to me, but I can’t deny it outright since it’s not like I’ve done any research on it. Still, without a lot of mutation, and pressures that make those mutated individuals more likely to breed than others, there’s no reason to assume a trait is continuing to expand. Again, there is no motive force to this stuff, it’s just physical principle.

Saga of the Seven Suns by Kevin J Anderson

July 20th, 2009

So yeah, this series of books is all wrapped up now. It was fun, had some neat ideas, and was thoroughly enjoyable, but there’s just something about it that doesn’t make it stand out in my mind.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s quite worth reading, unlike, say, certain books written with Brian Herbert. I think the biggest hindrance to the story hanging with me is it all felt a bit too much like television. I can’t really find the right way to describe it. I suppose one of the biggest similarities is that it really seemed like we could have wrapped some of these points up well before we did, know what I mean?

The Ildirans kept whining about how stagnant they were, then someone would throw out something at least a little innovative, but it would either go nowhere or they’d die, horribly. The Roamers were like MacGuyver clones, and never ever failed. It all just came off as a bit too static.

Anyway. Onward.

The Hangover (2009)

July 5th, 2009

I didn’t have any real expectations going into this, just fyi, but I found it to be fun, and funny, but ultimately forgettable.

That’s kind of all I can think to say about it.