You know, anything I wanted to hide…
Either wouldn’t be in a Google search, or relevant to an ad campaign.
The places I go on the internet would kill some people. They would literally tear their eyes out and show them to you. This is a combination of trawling the interwebs via random searches, chasing links from site to site, and so called friends. That aside, nothing saved by Google has any direct bearing on who I am, or my actual privacy. People who whine about Google stealing their souls, or whatever, are just embarrassed about the dumb things they’ve made PUBLICLY AVAILABLE ON THE INTERNET. They sat there, posting on some incestuous little board about how much they like buying underage sex slaves from their dude in Tijuana, using some or all of their real life information, then they get upset because a search engine indexes a PUBLICLY VISIBLE WEBSITE.
Sigh.
So, let’s address these hard hitting questions being posed to Google, shall we? Refer to the article, I’m not recreating them here.
1. None of this is important. Your ISP, who is way more dangerous to you, knows way more about what you’re doing.
e) Are you retarded? Why would they randomly delete and scrub your email? If you do that, it isn’t email anymore.
f) It counts unique hits and click-throughs. Shove off.
l) Cookies. How quaint.
2. They feed results into a program that tries to optimize the ads you see. What the fuck do you think they’re doing? Naming puppies after you?
3. What does it matter? It’s a pile of data loosely related to what you did, not who you are. 18 months or 18 years, it’s all the same.
4. Wait, you already asked that. See answer 2, and maybe get a reading comprehension tutor.
5. I certainly hope so. I’d rather not have ads for pizza places in a different city.
6. Actually, I recall reading this in the gmail user acceptance bit. Which is to say, yeah, your email is indexed for keyword targeting stuff. Oh noes! They know you like cheese and want to show you ads with cheese you might like instead of shoes!
7. Tutor, fuckup, get one! Privacy policy is there to read, and not only can YOU do it, but you are in the position to make someone else do it for you. RIF.
8. Man, you have a stunted vocabulary.
9. How does I shot web?
10. Doesn’t matter. The only people who read those things are people that don’t use whatever service they’re attached to. The same is true of all EULAs. They exist solely because of people like you. Should it be on there? No. Why? Because the more I read this the more I dislike you.
11. Jesus dude, read a book.
a) I’m gonna guess they know how to read and understand what reasonable means.
b) Die.
c) What? No. It’s an arbitrary number assigned, and often recycled, by your ISP.
d) I… man. This guy really is dumb.
e) Uhhh… and senile? I guess?
12. Definitions are in dictionaries, easily accessible to all.
13. Is there a handbook on asking pointless questions?
14. This is like asking how you anonymize someone’s order number at Taco Bell.
15. Have you looked at a google cookie? No, because you don’t know what that means.
16. I hope so, it’s practically the mission statement. Except for the applications you listed, which don’t do dick about jack in terms of finding anything of ad importance.
17. Translation of this question- I’m too important to read, or have read to me, information that isn’t related to you specifically, so do go on, fill my tiny head up with things I’ll fail to comprehend.
18 & 19. Go to google. Use it. Examine cookies. Bugger self.
20. Hopefully a lot!
21. You search for double ended dildos 6 hours a day, and the Adsense ads you see are geared towards your interests.
22. Ask them. Ask Jeeves maybe.
23. I admit, I don’t know what the hell this is. Sounds like a job for a lawyer.
24. Uh huh. SPY ACT. Cute.
In closing- Our government is an enormous waste of time, and so are, conservatively, 85% of the people it governs.